Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
