Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i love accidental penises.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
