People with herpes should wear stickers.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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