It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Randomize
