Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics