remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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