your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
