omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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