"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Life is so much better after having sex.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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