You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
