he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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