At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
MIDGETS
????
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
