New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
