u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
