So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You can't just leave with hair like that
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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