What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He felt like a one man threesome
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
