Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Randomize
