Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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