State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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