how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
