11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
