ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
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I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
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I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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