How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
