peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize