five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i think i have two assholes
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
