All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize