now i know why i became what i already was.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
