I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
