his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
