Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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