So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
please come you make the beer taste better
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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