I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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