Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
