I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
