history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
