I can tuck mytits in my pants
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
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