also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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