everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
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I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
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I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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