I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
