kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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