You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
