Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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