i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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