flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
