i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
this hospital has no fireball
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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