it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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