this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
