epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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