Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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