Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Ladies don't puke and tell
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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