After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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