Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
