I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
