I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
