But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I need water and some morals
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
