Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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