I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
