For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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