I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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