You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
