which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
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