I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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