There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
