are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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