Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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