mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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