I'm lost and stupid without you.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
you never un-have a 4some
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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