fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
