I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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