i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
