does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
