Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
